My plan for this blog is to share what it is like for me living with disability and chronic pain. My hope is that it helps me cope by giving me a place to talk about my illness, while also helping anyone that may happen across this blog.
I guess I should start with a little background. I’ve lived with pain my entire life. I have congenital musculoskeletal defects primarily in my feet, ankles, and spine. Walking and running have caused me severe pain from birth. Since it was all I had ever known, I assumed that everyone felt the same and that if I complained, it would mean that I was a weak crybaby.
As I got older, it became harder to endure. I waited tables for years, but in my last few years of working, it became increasingly difficult to cope. I would lie and say that I had to use the restroom, but I really just needed to sit down. It started to become more and more difficult to simply walk to my car at the end of a shift. One morning I woke up, pulled off the covers, stood up out of bed and crashed to the floor. My feet and ankles had just stopped working. It took a few minutes to get up off the floor and get on with my day.
In the years since that morning, I’ve had countless falls, a failed back surgery, too many emergency room visits to count, and a laundry list of other procedures. I’ve learned a lot about myself, my family, my friends, and how my disability affects my relationships with them. Hopefully, some good will come of sharing some of my life and experiences here.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.–Elizabeth Kubler-Ross